A Date with the Irish Surgeon - Chapter 7

Lorcan could have stayed there the entire day—the entire rest of his life—kissing Indra on the untamed Connemara coast. The sensation of her body and lips on his, the taste and scent and sound of her, was more to him just then than food, or drink or even air.

All the words he'd wanted to say to her over the last few weeks, and hadn't, rose together in his throat, and he felt as though they were transmitted through his breath into her.

I want you.

I need you.

You make me feel alive.

I'm falling in love with you.

A horn blew. Tires screeched behind them, and Indra jumped back out of his arms as though stung.

They both looked toward the road, but although Lorcan registered the fist-shaking, curse-laden disagreement happening there, all he could think was how much he wanted Indra back in his arms.

But as the two men ended their confrontation, Lorcan realized she was already heading back to the car, her back stiff and straight, her strides longer than usual.

And that told him all he really needed to know.

Following at a slower pace, he tried to figure out what to do or say, so their relationship—their friendship—wouldn't be destroyed. Getting into the car, he looked across at her and found her huddled against her door, her arms wrapped around her waist, as though she were cold.

"Indra—"

She held up a hand and smiled her wide, sunny grin, but he wasn't fooled. That cheerful expression, he now realized, hid whatever other emotions swirled beneath.

"I'm sorry. That view, that outlook, made me lose my head for a moment."

"I'd actually hoped it was me who'd done that," he said honestly. "So please don't apologize."

Something flared in her eyes and then was blinked away. "I don't want things to be awkward between us."

It was her polite way of saying he shouldn't take what happened seriously, and Lorcan could only swallow the bitter disappointment and nod.

"They won't be." He couldn't afford to let his unrequited feelings spoil the best relationship he'd had in years. It wasn't the relationship he wanted it to be, but that was no reason to be foolish. Just being around Indra made his life a hundred times better. "Now, how about we go and see if Clifden Castle's gate is open? Hopefully the road up to the ruins won't be too muddy."

Now her smile seemed more natural, but the expression in her eyes was shielded, so he couldn't get a read on what she was really feeling.

"Sounds good."

Although Lorcan was able to smile back, he was glad that she turned to look back out over the view, so she wouldn't notice how unsteady his hand was as he pressed the starter.

*

Indra stared out at the passing scenery but no longer truly saw it. Instead, her entire being was focused on trying to regulate her breathing, slow her heart down and push back against the arousal raging through her body.

She'd promised herself not to get further entangled with Lorcan, knowing there could be no future in it, and what did she do? At the first opportunity, she jumped all over him like a ravenous beast.

Well, she was ravenous, for him, but he was off-limits and it would serve her well to remember that.

It wasn't that she'd be averse to a casual sexual relationship. She'd had them before and probably would again. The problem was that she didn't feel casual about Lorcan, and she never would. He was quiet and thoughtful and had a brilliant, nimble mind. Getting to know him had changed the way she saw him in an instrumental way, and there was no going back from that.

There were two choices: walk away, forever, or hold on to a relationship that had come to mean more to her than she had ever expected it would.

It was a no-brainer.

If staying within his sphere meant hiding her real feelings, then that was what she had to do.

And she thought she did a decent job of it. For the rest of the day they explored and chatted, and although her awareness of him didn't abate, there was no hint of strain between them.

But she was thankful they'd been invited to have dinner with his parents and relatives from out of town. The less time she spent alone with him at this point, the easier it would be.

The dinner was being held at the village hall, which was a scene of lively banter and music when they arrived. As soon as they stepped through the door, Lorcan's mother whisked Indra away to introduce her to the rest of the family.

The older woman threaded her arm through Indra's and gave it a squeeze.

"I'm so happy to have met you. Lorcan never brings anyone home, and I was beginning to worry. He'd become so withdrawn, and it's been more than enough time for him to have gotten over Mae."

Unable to think of anything appropriate to say, Indra just kept smiling. Luckily, they got to an elderly gentleman who appeared to be rather deaf, as Mrs. Connor leaned close to shout, "Uncle Harry, this is Indra Hughes. Lorcan's girlfriend."

And after that, there was hardly a need for any further introductions, since Indra was sure they heard Mrs. Connor all the way in the next village over.

"Oh, and it's lovely to be meeting you. She's a beauty, isn't she?" the old man bellowed in return.

Even as she kept smiling and shook Uncle Harry's hand, she wanted to turn and run—to get away. Go somewhere private to sort through everything she was feeling and control her emotions.

Tonight, she thought to herself. Get through tonight and tomorrow, and then you'll be back home and you can figure this entire situation out.

In the meantime, all she could do was keep smiling, even though each time she looked at Lorcan, her stomach twisted in agony and her heart broke a little more.