“You look like hell, Tumbleweed.” Her mother set a cup of tea down in front of her.
“I don’t like tea.” Mia’s words were soft. Everything about her this last week was soft. Her soul had evaporated when she walked away from Lacey. The days had passed. The world moved on, even though her heart was gone.
“You don’t have to drink it.” Her mother slid across from her. “But sometimes holding a hot mug warms the heart.”
“Not sure I have one anymore.” That was the realization she’d had when she’d gotten to her car after their fight. She’d walked away from the woman she loved.
If she’d been smart, she’d have rushed back in. Told Lacey she loved her and pleaded for a second chance.
“So why hasn’t my Tumbleweed sought out the woman who has her heart?”
“I hate that nickname. It just reinforces that I can’t stay still. I hate it, and I hate that it is so accurate.” Mia bit her lip. Her family was right, she blew away when things got hard. When she should stand still, Mia ran.
When she should have shouted I love you, she fled.
“You hate the nickname?” Her mother’s hand reached across the table. “Why didn’t you tell us? We thought you liked the joke.”
“How can I like it?” She pushed tears away. “I run from good things. I sold the bakery and my photography business. I…” Words dried up as she sobbed.
“Sold them for a profit. You hated the hours and the pressure of running your own business. Honey.” Her mother was up. Her arms wrapping around her. “Oh, honey, I am so sorry.”
Mia laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Of course, Lacey was right.”
“What do you mean?” Her mother sat in the chair closest to her, her hands protectively over Mia’s knees.
“She saw that I hated the nickname.”
Her mother nodded but didn’t say anything.
“I hit Submit on her college application, and she told me I should tell you all that I hated the nickname. I told her that it wasn’t a big deal.”
“It was to you.”
“That’s what Lacey said.” Mia pulled at her neck. How had she messed this up so badly? “I told her she didn’t understand family. Hers…well…her parents kicked her out at eighteen.”
“Excuse me?” Her mother’s hands flinched before she took a deep breath. “I’ll focus on that in a minute. Right now I want you to know that your family loves you. Whether you are a paramedic forever or try fifty other careers. You never need to worry over that. But you need to love your choices, honey.”
Her mother was right. At the heart of it, it wasn’t about her parents. Not really. It was accepting herself…accepting that she tried new things and ran sometimes. That didn’t make her inconsistent. Just like Lacey had said.
“I need to find Lacey.” Mia stood, her mother standing at the same time.
Her phone rang at that exact moment, Lacey’s face popping in.
“Fate.” Her mother winked.
“Lacey.”
“I’m sorry to call, but it is all hands on deck. A crane collapsed downtown. Multiple fatalities. The station needs everyone in.” Lacey’s voice was stoic, compartmentalized.
Today was going to be awful. There was no way around it. But when it was over, she was telling Lacey she loved her.
“I’m on my way.”
***
The ER was a quiet. After a day of organized panic, it was an eerie feeling. Lacey was exhausted in soul and body.
“You okay?” A nurse whose name she couldn’t place sat beside her, leaning her head against the wall.
“Yes. And no.” She felt like her whole body was empty. But that feeling had started the day she let Mia walk away. The woman she loved wanted nothing more than her family to be proud of her. And they were; it was Mia who wasn’t sure of herself.
But wiping that fear away wasn’t easy, even if you came from a loving family.
How many times had it taken her to finally work up the courage to tell her parents something? How many times had she worried?
Yes, her worries were founded and she was more than 100 percent certain that Mia’s family would react well to the conversation. But until the conversation was had, the uncertainty was overwhelming.
More importantly, she shouldn’t have told Mia she didn’t think this would work. That was fear talking. The past creeping in where it had no place.
Mia’s heartbroken face was imprinted on her brain.
“You okay?” Lacey asked the nurse. She should have asked right away, but her synapses weren’t firing at full speed.
“I just want to go home, take the longest shower ever, and then tell my husband I love him and hold him until my arms go numb.”
Lacey understood the sentiment.
“Lacey?”
Her eyes popped open hearing Mia’s voice, and she moved faster than she thought possible.
Her arms wrapped around Mia, and she burst into tears. “You’re here. You’re here.”
“I’m here.” Mia squeezed her tighter than she’d ever held her. “I’m here and I love you and I should have talked to you the other day. I shouldn’t have walked away. I was scared and that was ridiculous.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Lacey gripped her tighter. The day had been filled with the highest of highs as they saved patients, and the lowest of lows as they moved on from those past their aid.
“I love you.” Lacey kissed the top of her head. They both needed showers and at least twelve hours of sleep, but she didn’t want to wait for a better time. “I love you. And I should have backed off. Given you time.”
“No. You shouldn’t have. I didn’t give you time. I just barreled ahead when it was your application. I should have let you do the same. As it stands, my mother wasn’t aware I hated the nickname.”
“I know.” Lacey pulled back a little but didn’t let go of Mia. She’d never doubted Mia’s family loved her, but she also hadn’t been the butt of an inside joke for more than a decade.
“I love you.” Mia laid her head against Lacey’s.
“I love you, too.” Lacey grabbed Mia’s hand.
“I stopped in to see Mrs. Ports. She is going to a rehab facility for a few weeks, but it looks like she’ll make a full recovery. And her daughter got in touch. Don’t know if that will have a happily-ever-after, but at least she reached out.” Mia let out a sigh.
Lacey knew it wasn’t exactly what Mia wanted, but it was a starting point. They’d done all they could for Mrs. Ports and the patients they’d transported today after the crane collapse. It was time to go home.
“Why don’t we go back to my place, let Pepper out, take a shower, fall into bed and figure out the next steps from there?”
Mia’s squeezed her hand and nodded. “That sounds like the best plan, and one I’d like to play on repeat for basically the rest of my life.”
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