Royal Surrender - chapter fifteen

Noe had been stern with herself the whole way to the Diamond Club that night. She would do what she needed to do, then leave. And she’d still talked herself out of it at least twice, once even taking the Tube halfway home before changing her mind again.

She’d stood out on that London street the way she had so long ago now, second-guessing herself.

Only this time, she knew exactly what would happen when she went inside.

And then, perhaps inevitably, she’d gone and done it anyway.

“I didn’t think you’d come,” Cajetan said in a fierce whisper when the door closed behind her, his amber eyes a dark fire.

“I shouldn’t have,” she managed to say.

“Noe.” He murmured, her name like a song. “Noe, you must know that I never wanted to hurt you.”

“That is not something we get to decide, Cajetan,” she whispered back, and she meant to sound sanguine and sophisticated, the way she wished she was, but the words came out more anguished than she expected.

But she didn’t take him back.

She would never know who moved, then. Which one of them kissed the other first, or whether both of them were lit up with the same bright need.

It was a mad rush, a blinding bright explosion.

When it was done, they were both left shaking, there on the floor, barely three steps inside the suite.

“We’re not done yet,” he muttered, picking her up and carrying her to their bed. “Not yet, Noe.”

And later, she was sure, she would regret that she could not bring herself to turn away when she knew full well that she would have to remember this for the rest of her life. And that these memories would be all she had of him.

She could not bring herself to do anything but taste him and memorize him, in every way she could.

But she didn’t wait until morning to do the thing that needed doing. She dressed in the dark. And she knew he was awake, though he did not speak.

“I came here tonight to leave you. Officially. Or maybe I knew how it would go and I wanted one last goodbye. But either way, Cajetan—” and she looked at him then, because she could find him anywhere, even in the dark “—this must end. It should never have started.”

And could not go on, not when there was his princess in the mix.

“Don’t say that.” His voice was a scorching bit of torment. “Don’t minimize this.”

Noe bowed her head, there in the dark of the bedroom she would never enter again. “This was a detour, nothing more, for both of us. And we both must return, now, to the paths we shouldn’t have strayed from.”

She wanted to shout at him. She wanted to tell him exactly how much it hurt— but there was only one ending to this story.

“Goodbye, Cajetan,” Noe said.

And left him before she could take it back.